Thursday, December 5, 2013

Be Forever Present

So, I love 311... Like LOVE them. They were the main soundtrack to my highschool days and have remained a significant part of my adult self-therapy. Philip and I went on a road trip to Austin last weekend to get away after the crazy Thanksgiving holiday. We saw some old friends, played a little golf, snuck away to the San Antonio Riverwalk for a night, and even slept passed 7 a.m. All in all a successful vacation. On our way home, my spotify playlist chose to play this beautiful little reminder  and as I listened and quietly sang along, a sort of peace fell over me. It sounds cliche but at the age of 29, closer to 30, I feel like I have finally got myself figured out. The picture of what I want out of life has become more of an outline, and I have an eraser in hand. I am ok with the fact that things are never going to be exactly what you want, and sometimes you don't even know what you want until you are thrown for a loop. You are always going to have to tweak and readjust, make room for change, welcome the alternate ending. As I looked over at Philip driving , tapping the steering wheel to the beat of Peanuts bass, I couldn't help but smile. He looked at me with a double take, smiled, and asked  "what!?" My response...."nothing, I'm just happy." And I am....I'm just happy.  I'm not overthinking a conversation with a friend, I'm not stressing about the fact that I can't control others actions, I'm going with the flow, I'm learning to let things roll off. I'm not fixating on life's next step or scrambling for fulfillment. I'm letting myself be content. I'm learning that this is enough. More would always be nice, even welcomed, but if more never happens, then ok. Right now is pretty sweet as it is. So, if we never get another raise, if we never have similar work schedules, if we dont have kiddos, or if everything fell out from under us tomorrow, so what? We will survive and flourish, together, because that's what we do.

          I am learning to live in the moment. I feel that, when I was younger, I let a lot of precious opportunities pass me by because I was always planning for the future. Always worried about setting the scene for the way it "should" be, and that sucks. There is so much freedom in realizing that, just because you do things a different way, doesn't make it wrong. I don't have to do things exactly the way my parents did them, I don't have to share the same opinions or beliefs as my friends, that would make everything so boring.  Who cares if people want to judge? That's their bad. If you're actions are not intended for malice or offense, then screw anyone who tries to make what you do about them. This is your life, and it's fleeting. Stop, look around, and quit being so hard on yourself. Be grateful for all of the amazing opportunities God gives you every day. Quit comparing. Do more of what makes you happy. Be kind. Be genuine. Be happy.  In the words of the beautiful Nick Hexum, "Its alright, wherever you are right now, I tell you it's alright, that's where you're supposed to be now."
  
               
                                 



                                                                    (Photo via Pinterest)