Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The fairer sex

      Ok, so I refuse to use Facebook as a platform for rants. I do not air my dirty laundry, bully other people, make passive agressive comments or anything of that sort. I even try my hardest not to "like" or repost anything that may hurt someone elses feelings. I just don't think that is what social media should be used for. The world is harsh enough as it is.  I know a lot of people will claim that I try to portray a perfect life and that is fine. I do make it a point to try and only share the happy times with FB friends mainly for two reasons. 1. I believe that life itself provides enough trials and tough times as it is, you don't need to log into social media to have my junk dumped on you too. 2. The people closest to me, that I trust and confide in, know my secrets. They know my dark times and the struggles I go through and those are the people that I choose to share those things with. FB is a very public platform where, and we can all admit this, we are friends with people that we may not want knowing everyting about us.  Having given my disclaimer, I would like to say this. I am SO sick and tired of women sharing articles and liking posts that deliberately insult other women.  I know that everyone has their own opinion and I strongly believe that we are all entitled to it, but tearing others down to build yourself up is cowardly and weak.  
     
   One example. There is a short article claiming that "The more intelligent a woman is, the more likely she is to be single."  What a horribly belittiling claim to make against married and involved women.  Since when does being in a relationship have anything to do with your level of intelligence. I consider myself a smart woman. I did not go to college and I will never a day in my life claim to be studious, but I am successful, well-spoken, and I have built a pretty impressive life for myself. I just so happen to be married to a man that I love.  It angers me that, because I have been lucky enough to find someone to share my life with, I am considered of lower intelligence.  So, women , know that when you repost things like this, it comes off as petty and bitter. I understand certain things make certain people feel better about themselves, but why do you have to feel better at someone elses expense? 

    Another example. There is an article floating around eluding to the idea that relationships and marriages don't work these days and that anyone who has avoided divorce is either A. Headed in that direction or B. Faking happiness to avoid exposing their miserable existence.  How insulting! Marriage is hard, it is not always romance and love and adoration, but it is far from misery.  I am so sick of being bullied and put down for being in a happy relationship.  My husband and I fight, we get on eachothers nerves, we go through tough times, but that in no way means that we are leading an unhappy life.  I am sternly requesting that the people writing these articles quit grouping me in with whatever relatioships they have researched because they are sadly mistaken.  I am not weak because I share my life with someone else, if anything it makes me a stronger, more adaptable person to have to consider someone else day in and day out.  Maybe marriages are less likely to work because of skepticism, or constant doubt, or a spoiled generation that feels entitled to flawless happiness....Maybe marriages don't work because people see the union as a crutch for the weak? There are all kinds of reasons marriages don't work but to say they only work when they are fake is a cop out and I am tired of hearing it. 

   Lastly,  the whole mommy/body/diet/ lifestyle war has gotten SO old and tired for me.  "Real women have curves" - No, real women have vaginas and thats about the only requirement. Skinny, thick, short, tall....it doesn't matter. Fat shaming and skinny shaming are disgusting and I am sick of hearing both.  Formula fed babies are not neglected. Mothers who choose natural birthing methods are not "crazy" and some parents can't afford to feed their children non-dairy, non-gluten, completely organic diets and that is ok.  Back off of eachother! My goodness, it is hard enough to exist in this world as a woman without other women breathing down your neck about the way you choose to live your everyday life. To each her own. If someone doesn't want children, good for them. If someone wants six, good for her. Each womans life is hers to live and, as long as her decisions aren't harming others, keep your nose out of the details!  Spend time supporting eachother and lifting other women up. You may be surprised what it does for your self-esteem.