Tiny Little Kicks

Sleep evades me these days. I have become a very light sleeper in the last 5 years, but being pregnant, I can't really catch a break. I turn over countless times a night, wake up to hip pain, leg cramps, back aches, and heart burn. Not to mention the average of 2 trips to the bathroom a night. Luckily I have a job that allows me a 1-2 hour nap during the day, so I stay somewhat rested. It is a nice head start to whats to come with the up all night feeding/crying sessions. Anyway, needless to say , I am often in a bit of a zombie state. I get frustrated when I wake up and realize its only 3:30. Then, right as I start to doze, intense hunger pains creep into my stomach.  I beg God to just let me fall back to sleep, to be able to ignore the feelings so I can get just 2 more hours of rest.  I get irritated and angry, I selfsihly long for sound sleep and then there is that little nudge. That sweet little reminder from inside my belly as to why all of these unpleasant things are happening to me and I am truly awakened.  My baby is steadily growing and healthy and that is why my back hurts. My body is transforming itself to prepare for birth and that is why my hips ache.  I am hungry because the little life inside me needs nourishment and the pain is the only way my body can signal for me to provide.  Those sweet little kicks bring me back to reality, and I smile. I rub my belly, tell him good morning and crawl out of bed to start my day.  He is my greatest motivation and I have never even seen his sweet little face.  He keeps me grounded and grateful and I have never even heard his voice.  His empending arrival has allowed me to fall more deeply in love with his father as I watch him prepare the house and take selfless care of me because that means taking care of him too.  He is the most amazing gift we have ever been given.  So, the aches and pains and sleepy days will just have to take a back seat. My attention is needed elsewhere. Somewhere sweet and innocent, and totally dependent on me. My focus will remain on those tiny little kicks.