Gratitude Changes Everything

        Life is so unpredictable.  One minute you can be smiling, laughing, and surrounded by friends, and the next you're scrambling to make sense of something you may never understand.  Recent loss and tragedy in our circle of friends has made me realize how much I love the people in my life and how much I lack in communicating that regularly.  I started thinking about my priorities, and I realized that I was stretched much too thin. I had been a really great friend, and employee, but I sure was lacking in the wife/sister/daughter/niece/cousin department. I am blessed to have a truly amazing family unit. I have, in recent years, begun to understand what a rare and beautiful privilege that is. Yet, I never reinforce my appreciation for them. Do they all know the impact they have on my daily decisions, or that they make my world a brighter place and my existence more than worth while?  If I'm completely honest with myself, and you, then no, there is absolutely no way that I have ever even come close to letting them know that each of them is a piece that makes my heart whole. 

         My mom doesn't know that she is the most genuinely kind person that I have ever known. That her patience and understanding humbles me, and her desire to always do better is inspiring. My dad doesn't know that I think he should be a case study on fatherly love for men with daughters. He is such an ideal example of selflessness for husbands and fathers. And he is one of the funniest guys I know. My sisters , they are my best gals. My older sister, Shanna, is who I look to when I need to remember that hard work pays off. When I feel like there is nothing I can do to help someone, she leads me by example. Molly, my younger sister, is my go-to when I just need to smile. She is always there, rain or shine, ready to listen while I cry, and ready to make a perfectly timed, off color joke, when she decides it's time to laugh. My Aunt Jean and Uncle Kirk...they were at every softball game, cheerleading event, and school play......they even came to flute recitals, yikes. They have thrown engagement parties, graduation parties, and parties just because for me and my sisters. They have always loved and supported me and no matter how many family events I miss because of my crazy work schedule, they love me just the same and never give me grief.  I have an aunt and uncle who can walk into a party full of my friends and 80% of the people there will know who they are. They are completely present and I love them. Campbell, my cousin, is the little brother I never had. He is a 19 year old who just started college, and I am so proud of the man he has become. He is sweet, and sincere, and smart, and hilarious.  We have a genuine honesty between the two of us that I treasure more than words can say. He is wise beyond his years and I cannot wait to see what life has in store for him. Today is his birthday, Happy Birthday Campbell, I love you very much.  

       

       Finally, there is Philip. My husband, my partner, and my very best friend in the whole world. Our marriage had a rocky start, but I wouldn't change any of it for the world because it did nothing but reinforce the fact that we are meant to be, the world came knocking and we answered. He is what I look forward to every evening and he is my favorite part of waking up in the morning. He is the one that will go on midnight rescue trips with me when a neighbor has left a dog out in the cold, or take off to the casino for an impromptu date night. We laugh so much together and we deserve it because, man, have we cried. I am so grateful for his love. Right now is my favorite phase of our life together, so far. I smile at the idea of growing old with him, not only because of the romantic connotations that come with it, but because I know we will make lemonade out of life's obstacles. We will greet each road block with a smile, love, and humor. We will pass it by and just keep going. 

      Sorry this entry is so long, but it is very important to me. I have had a bit of an epiphany as of late, and I am going through a very profound change. It has been accompanied by a lot of peace, and lot of letting go. I I am learning to "stop glorifying busy", and I am coming to terms with the idea that "no" is a complete answer, you don't have to justify your decisions.  It is not selfish to do what makes you happy  as long as it is not intentionally hurting anyone else.  I will leave you with this little Tid Bit that really hit home for me.