Wanna hear God laugh? Tell him your plans

       

Philip and I have been trying to get pregnant. This is our third month. It's tough. You spend your entire "adulthood" trying to prevent pregnancy, and then once you actually start trying to get pregnant, it's like a carefully calculated hit or miss game. Philip is really excited about turning our 2 into 3. I know he is going to be such an amazing dad someday. I don't think he has any idea just how good at it he will be, but I can see it. I watch him when we are around the other little munchkins in our life and he is so playful, and silly, and he has patience with them. I absolutely cannot wait to witness the love between him and our someday baby. The first month we didn't really know what we were doing, the second month we watched the calendar, and stressed a little too much. The more people tell you to just go with the flow, the harder it is to think about anything else.  I was really disappointed when we got the negative test, but I still had that little glimmer of hope that we had just tested too early. And then Aunt Flo came. So here we are at month three. I'm in the middle of my two week sentence as they call it, so we will know soon enough. Obviously I will not be writing on this topic again for a while b/c if we are, I won't be ready to tell people, and if we aren't, there won't be anything to really say except that we will try again next month. In the mean time, I have made some positive lifestyle changes to help prepare my body to grow another person should the opportunity present itself. I quit smoking, I cut back on caffeine....surprisingly harder to give up than cigarettes, and I weened off of some medication I have been on for years. I feel great. I feel happier than I have in a long time. I have energy, and, it has been very therapeutic to channel my frustrating lack of control in the baby making department into something positive that I can control. I feel healthy, and confident, and a little proud I must say. The baby thing is Gods timing. We are ready whenever He is, and in the meantime we will just enjoy the journey. We have plenty of little peanuts in our life to keep us occupied until we have our own. "Keep your chin up" is a very underrated gem of advice. No matter what struggles you might be facing right now, it could always be worse. Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere.